These are the jokes, people.

[The_Mutt]

As much as I love the modern style of stand up, I miss the old school guys who told jokes. And I miss Kevin telling an old joke at the top of each show. Got a good joke? Tell it here.

The Doctor calls Mister Meyer.

He says, "I've got bad news and worse news."

Meyer says, "What's the bad news?"

The Doctor says, "The tests are in. You have a week to live."

Meyer says, "My God! What could be worse?"

The Doctor says, "I've been trying to reach you all week."

[Seanthings]

*rimshot*

[The_Mutt]

A Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the road. They see a little boy bending over to tie his shoe.

The Priest says, "Man, I'd like to screw him."

The Rabbi says, "Out of what?"
...

[CorbettDoThings]

The Doctor calls Mister Meyer.

He says, "I've got very bad news for you."

Meyer says, "Oh my god. What is it Doc?"

The Doctor says, "The tests are in. I'm afraid. . .you only have five."

Meyer says, "Five what?! Five years? Five months??"

The Doctor says, "Four. . .three. . ."